Leaning

This morning as I was waiting for my next class just chillaxin' in the student center, the song Leaning on the Everlasting Arms popped into my head.  It's one of my favorites from when I was a kid.  It has a really nice musical part accompanied but sweet lyrics.  It is a joy both to sing and to contemplate.  And that got me thinking about both the song and the reason it seems so sweet to me in general and at this moment in life in particular.  Where that lead me gave me a really beautiful that I felt the desire to share.

Those of you who know me well either know explicitly or could guess that I periodically struggle with depression.  I've been getting better at dealing with it by the grace of God but I have found that one of the big triggers for it is being in school.  I love learning but school also brings out and highlights some of my worst failures (in my own mind) and some of my greatest sins from the past.  That is probably a story for another day though.  The reason I bring this up is that I have been struggling lately yet again with this problem.  The only thing that has prevented me from falling into that pit and embracing my old familiar nemesis is God.  He uses different techniques on different days but it is always Him and He makes it clear to me that this is the case.  Sometimes it is the right song at the right moment, sometimes a word from a friend, sometimes it is just the visceral sense of the presence of God and often it is scripture.  God has been teaching me to go to him in my darkness because drugs (the legal kind), success, friends, recognition, etc are not the solution ultimately.  What I need is the God who is my all-in-all, my fullness, and who affirms me constantly.

Back to the main topic, this song is a picture of that.  Leaning sounds like such a passive word.  In many ways it is.  All we really do is fall back for Him to catch us.  But I think that in context it is a very intense word.  We aren't leaning on him like we might a wall or a couch.  It is more a picture of an embrace to me.  And not one of those weak little hugs that we often give each other where it is more a token gesture.  I have the picture of being at the end of myself and then seeing Jesus, running to him and in response he embraces me like he is never going to let go.  And he doesn't.  And wrapped up in the arms of the creator of the universe, the words "safe and secure from all alarms" have power and sincerity.  And that reminds me of Romans 8:38-39 - For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.  And that brings to mind the song For the Glory by the O.C. Supertones.  Great song.  It's on youtube, look it up.  And this is where I start going in circles so I should probably cut it off.

Well that's all I've got for today.  I hope you've been enjoying my blog posts if you have been reading.  Till next time "The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you; the Lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace".  Or to quote Sgt Castor: Come happy, stay happy.