This morning as I was waiting for my next class just chillaxin' in the student center, the song Leaning on the Everlasting Arms popped into my head. It's one of my favorites from when I was a kid. It has a really nice musical part accompanied but sweet lyrics. It is a joy both to sing and to contemplate. And that got me thinking about both the song and the reason it seems so sweet to me in general and at this moment in life in particular. Where that lead me gave me a really beautiful that I felt the desire to share.
Those of you who know me well either know explicitly or could guess that I periodically struggle with depression. I've been getting better at dealing with it by the grace of God but I have found that one of the big triggers for it is being in school. I love learning but school also brings out and highlights some of my worst failures (in my own mind) and some of my greatest sins from the past. That is probably a story for another day though. The reason I bring this up is that I have been struggling lately yet again with this problem. The only thing that has prevented me from falling into that pit and embracing my old familiar nemesis is God. He uses different techniques on different days but it is always Him and He makes it clear to me that this is the case. Sometimes it is the right song at the right moment, sometimes a word from a friend, sometimes it is just the visceral sense of the presence of God and often it is scripture. God has been teaching me to go to him in my darkness because drugs (the legal kind), success, friends, recognition, etc are not the solution ultimately. What I need is the God who is my all-in-all, my fullness, and who affirms me constantly.
Back to the main topic, this song is a picture of that. Leaning sounds like such a passive word. In many ways it is. All we really do is fall back for Him to catch us. But I think that in context it is a very intense word. We aren't leaning on him like we might a wall or a couch. It is more a picture of an embrace to me. And not one of those weak little hugs that we often give each other where it is more a token gesture. I have the picture of being at the end of myself and then seeing Jesus, running to him and in response he embraces me like he is never going to let go. And he doesn't. And wrapped up in the arms of the creator of the universe, the words "safe and secure from all alarms" have power and sincerity. And that reminds me of Romans 8:38-39 - For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. And that brings to mind the song For the Glory by the O.C. Supertones. Great song. It's on youtube, look it up. And this is where I start going in circles so I should probably cut it off.
Well that's all I've got for today. I hope you've been enjoying my blog posts if you have been reading. Till next time "The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you; the Lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace". Or to quote Sgt Castor: Come happy, stay happy.
Wednesday, November 20, 2013
Sunday, November 10, 2013
Honduras (Part 1)
I know it hasn't been that long since my last post but I had the urge to do this while I was sitting in church this morning and I don't want to forget about it. For the past couple weeks the participants of this year's missions trip to Honduras have been sort of reporting in during church. My turn is in 2 weeks. So I have been thinking about all of this a lot lately. And I decided I really want to go again. But once again my finances are looking a bit thin. Last year the trip cost $750. And the church covered our plane tickets and it would have been more if more people had gone. I am fairly certain that last year's crew all wants to go again and there are at least 2 more people that I know of who want to go as well. And the church may not cover the plane tickets this year. I'm not complaining because I recognize what a hugely generous thing that was last year, I am just setting the scene.
The actual cost of the trip for next summer probably won't be known for sure until at least May is my guess. But worst case scenario, no tickets and a higher per person cost, I'm going to say that I may need as much as $1200 to go. Last time a number of people expressed interest in helping out but my short notice on the need made it difficult to do so. And that brings us to my Plan. Starting now I am going to do my best to save up as much as I can. Whenever I beat my monthly budget I am going to put those funds into a Honduras account. Any extra income I get outside of what I budgeted and am expecting as part of that budget will also go into this account. And now this is where you come in. I am also going to make an appeal for donations. If it is in your heart to give I welcome the support. If it is not I will in no way think any bad thoughts about you. I'm not going to lie, $1200 for 9 days seems like a lot to me. I haven't looked at the numbers but I imagine I would find that if you are looking for a high bang/buck ratio, short-term missions is not the place to invest. But God has put this on my heart to at least attempt so I am making my appeal in faith that whatever the outcome it will glorify him.
In the event that my fundraising and saving falls short or in the event that something else prevents me from going, THESE FUNDS WILL NOT GO BACK INTO MY MAIN BANK ACCOUNT. I just want to make that clear. I have no way of giving you an assurance of this except my word but if you are reading this blog you probably know me somewhat well at least and know that I wouldn't steal from you like that. If it turns out I can't go all funds raised including the ones I put in from cost cutting efforts on my part will still be used for missions work. Either I will help fund someone else who is going or I will save it for the following year. So one way or another any money donated will help get feet on the ground in Honduras or somewhere else that needs us and will support the spreading of the word. If you are interested in helping me contact me by facebook message, text, phone call, email, whatever. My phone number is 862-268-3865 for those of you who don't have it and my preferred email for this is ddanielsilverman@gmail.com. And I may add a counter somewhere to keep track of money raised so that those who may be wondering what the need is can see it. I am going to try to hit at least $1000.
If you want to hear my story about why I want to go back or why I went the first time or why missions at all from my perspective, stay tuned. Some time in the next 2 weeks I will be posting another blog entry telling that story. I just don't have time right now and I feel that this appeal and that story should be separated in any case. I know not many people read this blog but for now this will be the only appeal I make. That may change in the future. And if you can't support me financially I would ask that you just keep doing what you're doing supporting me with words of encouragement, a ride when my vehicles break, a conversation whatever it is you do. I get a lot of energy and motivation from all of you in many different ways. And please pray. I will never ever ever turn down prayer support or be anything but extremely grateful for it. That's all for now. God Bless.
The actual cost of the trip for next summer probably won't be known for sure until at least May is my guess. But worst case scenario, no tickets and a higher per person cost, I'm going to say that I may need as much as $1200 to go. Last time a number of people expressed interest in helping out but my short notice on the need made it difficult to do so. And that brings us to my Plan. Starting now I am going to do my best to save up as much as I can. Whenever I beat my monthly budget I am going to put those funds into a Honduras account. Any extra income I get outside of what I budgeted and am expecting as part of that budget will also go into this account. And now this is where you come in. I am also going to make an appeal for donations. If it is in your heart to give I welcome the support. If it is not I will in no way think any bad thoughts about you. I'm not going to lie, $1200 for 9 days seems like a lot to me. I haven't looked at the numbers but I imagine I would find that if you are looking for a high bang/buck ratio, short-term missions is not the place to invest. But God has put this on my heart to at least attempt so I am making my appeal in faith that whatever the outcome it will glorify him.
In the event that my fundraising and saving falls short or in the event that something else prevents me from going, THESE FUNDS WILL NOT GO BACK INTO MY MAIN BANK ACCOUNT. I just want to make that clear. I have no way of giving you an assurance of this except my word but if you are reading this blog you probably know me somewhat well at least and know that I wouldn't steal from you like that. If it turns out I can't go all funds raised including the ones I put in from cost cutting efforts on my part will still be used for missions work. Either I will help fund someone else who is going or I will save it for the following year. So one way or another any money donated will help get feet on the ground in Honduras or somewhere else that needs us and will support the spreading of the word. If you are interested in helping me contact me by facebook message, text, phone call, email, whatever. My phone number is 862-268-3865 for those of you who don't have it and my preferred email for this is ddanielsilverman@gmail.com. And I may add a counter somewhere to keep track of money raised so that those who may be wondering what the need is can see it. I am going to try to hit at least $1000.
If you want to hear my story about why I want to go back or why I went the first time or why missions at all from my perspective, stay tuned. Some time in the next 2 weeks I will be posting another blog entry telling that story. I just don't have time right now and I feel that this appeal and that story should be separated in any case. I know not many people read this blog but for now this will be the only appeal I make. That may change in the future. And if you can't support me financially I would ask that you just keep doing what you're doing supporting me with words of encouragement, a ride when my vehicles break, a conversation whatever it is you do. I get a lot of energy and motivation from all of you in many different ways. And please pray. I will never ever ever turn down prayer support or be anything but extremely grateful for it. That's all for now. God Bless.
Tuesday, November 5, 2013
Words
So its been a week or so and I honestly started a couple different entries but they never made the final cut. This is why I will probably never be an author (God willing): Anything I begin writing which is not completed in the first sitting mostly gets deleted. But none of that is terribly important.
Words. In addition to being the title of a song I've come to enjoy recently they are an interesting topic. They're pretty important. This blog wouldn't exist without them. Nor would the internet, books, civilization, or possibly even conscious thought. There is a theory which has some strong supporting evidence that words actually give shape to the thing that we think of as "me". There are a few people who, through genetic catastrophe or situational trauma, have no words. They do not have capacity for language. And as far as anyone can tell, they don't think. In a couple cases, often from strokes, people temporarily lose their capacity for language and what they relate about that experience seems to support the theory that language is necessary for thought. But for the purposes of this entry that doesn't much matter either. It's just interesting background.
I've been thinking a lot about words lately. In fact I think about words a lot. I have always enjoyed words; particularly unusual or niche words. But my true fascination with language began in my first sophomore year of college back in 2005 when I took a cultural anthropology course. According to anthropology language is the single most important cultural identifier. Not "race", not religion, not nationality, not socio-economic class or gender or any of the other powerful expressions of culture. Each of those things has its influence on language certainly which is why there are strong correlations for each one and cultural identity. And this gets really specific. Each person has their own personal lexicon and accent which makes a statement about their personal cultural identity. To illustrate this point my professor in cultural anthropology used to examples from personal experience. He's from the mid-west and moved to west Philly. He did not like the people there. He found himself exaggerating his Midwest accent and using words he never used before in his life such as "y'all". As if to say "I'm not one of you! I'm from the Midwest where people are friendly!". The second example was from a group of students he took to Ireland for an excavation. In the US we swear mainly scatologically and sexually. In Ireland they swear sacrilegiously. And the Irish are really cool guys or at least the bunch they were working with. After 2 months his students were swearing like the Irish and kept it up for a while after returning.
The effect of linguistic shifts due to culture is different in each person. Some people are more prone to it than others for a large variety of reasons. Ever met someone who picks up accents really fast or maybe someone who never seems to change their accent no matter how long they've lived somewhere? I have found that while I may not pick up accents readily I do pick up words, particularly idioms or other eccentric phrases, very easily from people I identify with. Last night I was talking to the dogs I work with (yes I converse with animals) and found myself using a word I have never used in my life but I know someone who uses it with some frequency. Chris, if you are reading this it was none of your colorful swear substitutes. But on the note of my brother-in-law I have started using "sass" in various contexts. Its a little scary. In the past I have also noticed some of my friends picking up my own peculiar phrases. For instance, I used to say "fair enough" a lot. That may not seem like an odd phrase but it became distinctive of me because I used it so much. Some of my friends at the time began using it as well.
God also has a lot to say about words. The tongue of a wise man is pure silver. The tongue can extinguish a fire or start one. The tongue is like a knife. The universe (a word which means "single sentence") was spoken into existence. Christ is referred to as The Word who is with God and who is God. God left us with 66 books full of his own words written down by his chosen scribes and He tells us to meditate upon and make them a part of us. The way people come to God is by other people telling them about Him.
And yet it often feels like words are thrown around so carelessly and without a thought. I am very guilty of this myself often enough. How often do we really stop to think about what words we will say until after we have already said them. I can't speak for anyone else but for myself the answer is not nearly enough. Seldom enough that I remark those moments when I do carefully choose my words. More often I listen to what I just said and am surprised (what kind of surprise can go either way). I don't think I really had a grand point when I started writing this. I mainly just wanted to put some of these thoughts down on paper so to speak. But what I am realizing as I am writing is that I at least really need to do a better job with this. Most of the time its fine and often enough my thoughtlessness creates cause for amusement but if I cause hurt or resentment or misunderstanding even once merely through word choice that is too many times. I'm probably going to have to think about this some more as I feel a little ambushed by my own thoughts. And with that I suppose I will adjourn. God be with you till we meet again.
PS: I was halfway hoping that some of these entries would spawn discussion. So if you have anything to say please comment. I realize that the blog is still pretty brand new but it can't hurt to encourage you all. Also, if there is anything that you might be interested to have me randomly muse about for your entertainment let me know. I might eventually want to bring some structure to this enterprise if I manage to keep doing it.
Words. In addition to being the title of a song I've come to enjoy recently they are an interesting topic. They're pretty important. This blog wouldn't exist without them. Nor would the internet, books, civilization, or possibly even conscious thought. There is a theory which has some strong supporting evidence that words actually give shape to the thing that we think of as "me". There are a few people who, through genetic catastrophe or situational trauma, have no words. They do not have capacity for language. And as far as anyone can tell, they don't think. In a couple cases, often from strokes, people temporarily lose their capacity for language and what they relate about that experience seems to support the theory that language is necessary for thought. But for the purposes of this entry that doesn't much matter either. It's just interesting background.
I've been thinking a lot about words lately. In fact I think about words a lot. I have always enjoyed words; particularly unusual or niche words. But my true fascination with language began in my first sophomore year of college back in 2005 when I took a cultural anthropology course. According to anthropology language is the single most important cultural identifier. Not "race", not religion, not nationality, not socio-economic class or gender or any of the other powerful expressions of culture. Each of those things has its influence on language certainly which is why there are strong correlations for each one and cultural identity. And this gets really specific. Each person has their own personal lexicon and accent which makes a statement about their personal cultural identity. To illustrate this point my professor in cultural anthropology used to examples from personal experience. He's from the mid-west and moved to west Philly. He did not like the people there. He found himself exaggerating his Midwest accent and using words he never used before in his life such as "y'all". As if to say "I'm not one of you! I'm from the Midwest where people are friendly!". The second example was from a group of students he took to Ireland for an excavation. In the US we swear mainly scatologically and sexually. In Ireland they swear sacrilegiously. And the Irish are really cool guys or at least the bunch they were working with. After 2 months his students were swearing like the Irish and kept it up for a while after returning.
The effect of linguistic shifts due to culture is different in each person. Some people are more prone to it than others for a large variety of reasons. Ever met someone who picks up accents really fast or maybe someone who never seems to change their accent no matter how long they've lived somewhere? I have found that while I may not pick up accents readily I do pick up words, particularly idioms or other eccentric phrases, very easily from people I identify with. Last night I was talking to the dogs I work with (yes I converse with animals) and found myself using a word I have never used in my life but I know someone who uses it with some frequency. Chris, if you are reading this it was none of your colorful swear substitutes. But on the note of my brother-in-law I have started using "sass" in various contexts. Its a little scary. In the past I have also noticed some of my friends picking up my own peculiar phrases. For instance, I used to say "fair enough" a lot. That may not seem like an odd phrase but it became distinctive of me because I used it so much. Some of my friends at the time began using it as well.
God also has a lot to say about words. The tongue of a wise man is pure silver. The tongue can extinguish a fire or start one. The tongue is like a knife. The universe (a word which means "single sentence") was spoken into existence. Christ is referred to as The Word who is with God and who is God. God left us with 66 books full of his own words written down by his chosen scribes and He tells us to meditate upon and make them a part of us. The way people come to God is by other people telling them about Him.
And yet it often feels like words are thrown around so carelessly and without a thought. I am very guilty of this myself often enough. How often do we really stop to think about what words we will say until after we have already said them. I can't speak for anyone else but for myself the answer is not nearly enough. Seldom enough that I remark those moments when I do carefully choose my words. More often I listen to what I just said and am surprised (what kind of surprise can go either way). I don't think I really had a grand point when I started writing this. I mainly just wanted to put some of these thoughts down on paper so to speak. But what I am realizing as I am writing is that I at least really need to do a better job with this. Most of the time its fine and often enough my thoughtlessness creates cause for amusement but if I cause hurt or resentment or misunderstanding even once merely through word choice that is too many times. I'm probably going to have to think about this some more as I feel a little ambushed by my own thoughts. And with that I suppose I will adjourn. God be with you till we meet again.
PS: I was halfway hoping that some of these entries would spawn discussion. So if you have anything to say please comment. I realize that the blog is still pretty brand new but it can't hurt to encourage you all. Also, if there is anything that you might be interested to have me randomly muse about for your entertainment let me know. I might eventually want to bring some structure to this enterprise if I manage to keep doing it.
Wednesday, October 23, 2013
I Will Praise You in the Storm
In addition to being one of my favorite songs, the title is something that God seems to be particularly focused on teaching me for the last year or so. Since a year ago August I have seen 2 friends come to Christ and one of them is no longer speaking to me. My car(s) have broken down in dangerous and extreme ways some 4 or 5 times including one time when it miraculously healed itself. My grandfather, who was probably the most Godly man I had in my life throughout my childhood, passed away unexpectedly. I've gone through bouts of depression bad enough that I had to take a medical leave of absence from college 2 weeks before the end of the semester in order to salvage my standing. That completely wiped out an entire semester and set me back a full year. A couple times I have wondered if I would have enough money to buy my next meal let alone pay rent. I have endured heartbreak, betrayal from my friends, experienced some of the deepest senses of failure I've had since coming to Christ 7 years ago. I have cried more often in the last year then I can remember doing in the decade prior to it.
BUT, that is not the full story. If it was and if I did not have Christ I do not know what I would have done. The "old man" would never have been strong enough to endure all of that. In the last year or so God has done me the honor of using me to bring 2 friends to Christ! I know I already mentioned that but I am still amazed by it and prior to that I have never seen someone I know lay down their weapons and surrender to God. I have found the most amazing church I know of, full to overflowing (literally) with men and women who know and love God. I have grown exponentially in my relationship with Christ. I gained an amazing brother in law (a miracle in its own right). And on that note my sister got married! God has placed me in the path of people who will literally argue with me about how I need to let them help me more. I have been given so many blessings and many of them would not even be understood as such from the perspective of the world. I can't see all of His plan but the little bits and pieces he chooses to show me are breathtaking. Oh and all that crying I mentioned? Half of it is actually because these days when I really sit down to take time to talk to God I am just so overwhelmed by his greatness and his love. And as the title hints at, I am learning to turn my immediate reaction of dismay fear and anger at trials into true joy and thankfulness for the trial not despite it. That one I'm still working on but I'm getting there. I just need more practice. And really the only way I or anyone else could ever do that is if we know that God is in control and uses everything for our good and His glory. The road ahead is dark and treacherous but I say bring it on. Until next time God Bless.
- David
BUT, that is not the full story. If it was and if I did not have Christ I do not know what I would have done. The "old man" would never have been strong enough to endure all of that. In the last year or so God has done me the honor of using me to bring 2 friends to Christ! I know I already mentioned that but I am still amazed by it and prior to that I have never seen someone I know lay down their weapons and surrender to God. I have found the most amazing church I know of, full to overflowing (literally) with men and women who know and love God. I have grown exponentially in my relationship with Christ. I gained an amazing brother in law (a miracle in its own right). And on that note my sister got married! God has placed me in the path of people who will literally argue with me about how I need to let them help me more. I have been given so many blessings and many of them would not even be understood as such from the perspective of the world. I can't see all of His plan but the little bits and pieces he chooses to show me are breathtaking. Oh and all that crying I mentioned? Half of it is actually because these days when I really sit down to take time to talk to God I am just so overwhelmed by his greatness and his love. And as the title hints at, I am learning to turn my immediate reaction of dismay fear and anger at trials into true joy and thankfulness for the trial not despite it. That one I'm still working on but I'm getting there. I just need more practice. And really the only way I or anyone else could ever do that is if we know that God is in control and uses everything for our good and His glory. The road ahead is dark and treacherous but I say bring it on. Until next time God Bless.
- David
Tuesday, October 22, 2013
Hello World!
So, I am occasionally interested in the idea of blogs. I don't really read them but the nature of them intrigues me. The way I see it a blog is essentially an online and interactive public journal. I don't journal. I never have though I did make a couple attempts. This is mainly because I never saw the point. I know what I'm thinking and while the ability to go back and look at how I used to think is amusing it isn't enough to warrant the effort. But I process by discussion, explanation and argument. I have come to realize that this is even more true than I ever believed. Putting my thoughts out to the public in an organized fashion which allows space for feedback seems kind of cool. And it will maybe allow me to spare the facebook universe from my sporadic status rants. Read if you want, comment if you have something to say. I will almost certainly be interested to hear your thoughts.
So what will this blog be about? Nothing specific. I'll probably talk a lot about God, music, philosophical dilemmas and things I overheard which gave me pause. This is an experiment. Let's see where it goes! I'm going to keep this first post short but if you find my posts on facebook interesting there's a chance you will find this blog amusing as well. Also, just due to the fact that I have very few reservations about what topics I am willing to discuss publically there's a chance you may end up learning more about me than you ever wished to know. Oh and as for the title... its a reference to 1 Corinthians 1:27. "But God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise;". As Christians we are the foolish things. I know my own foolishness so incredibly well and am often amazed to see what God uses my foolishness to do for his glory. I think that will be it for now but I will probably following up soon with a post that has a topic of some sort. Until then may the peace of God which surpasses all understanding be with you.
- David
So what will this blog be about? Nothing specific. I'll probably talk a lot about God, music, philosophical dilemmas and things I overheard which gave me pause. This is an experiment. Let's see where it goes! I'm going to keep this first post short but if you find my posts on facebook interesting there's a chance you will find this blog amusing as well. Also, just due to the fact that I have very few reservations about what topics I am willing to discuss publically there's a chance you may end up learning more about me than you ever wished to know. Oh and as for the title... its a reference to 1 Corinthians 1:27. "But God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise;". As Christians we are the foolish things. I know my own foolishness so incredibly well and am often amazed to see what God uses my foolishness to do for his glory. I think that will be it for now but I will probably following up soon with a post that has a topic of some sort. Until then may the peace of God which surpasses all understanding be with you.
- David
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